How to Write a Birth Plan That Works for You

A birth plan allows you to shape your ideal labor and delivery experience, giving you confidence as you prepare to welcome your baby into the world.

Bringing a new little human into the world? Let’s talk about one of the most helpful tools you can have in your labor toolkit—a birth plan. Think of it as a guide to help communicate your wishes and preferences to your birth team, even if the big day doesn't go quite as planned.

Not to scare you, but My OB-GYN reminded me that there’s really no such thing as a birth plan, only a birth wish. Because as much as you plan your delivery, the chances it goes as planned are slim. But, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be prepared to make your preferences known.

What is a Birth Plan?

A birth plan is a document you create to communicate your preferences for labor, delivery, and postpartum care to your healthcare providers. It’s like a roadmap for your ideal birth experience, but without the pressure of having to control everything. Because, let’s face it, babies love to keep us on our toes!

Your birth plan lets your medical team know things like:

How you'd like to manage pain (hello, epidural, or maybe you're opting for a more natural route)
What medical procedures you do or don’t approve, like an episiotomy
Who you want in the delivery room
Your preferences for newborn care (like delayed cord clamping or skin-to-skin contact)

Why Write a Birth Plan?

Think of a birth plan as an empowering tool. It helps you consider your options ahead of time, so when the moment arrives, you or your partner are prepared to communicate your desires clearly—even if things need to shift due to unexpected circumstances. Whether you want a serene, candlelit birth or prefer a highly medicalized, data-driven approach, your birth plan helps ensure your voice is heard.

But a birth plan isn't a rigid list of demands. The best ones are flexible and adaptable, prepared to embrace whatever curveballs your baby throws your way. After all, birth is unpredictable—but that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel confident about making informed choices.

What to Include in Your Birth Plan

Every birth plan is different, just like every birth story. Here’s a breakdown of what you might want to consider:

Your Support Team Who's your birthing squad? Whether it’s your partner, doula, or even your favorite playlist (yes, that counts!), this section helps your care team know who and what will help you feel calm and supported.
Environment Preferences Some parents want all the dim lighting and aromatherapy, while others are more at home with clinical efficiency. Are you hoping for a quiet space or music to fill the room? Let your preferences for the environment be known.
Pain Management There are lots of options when it comes to pain relief. From epidurals to nitrous oxide (or breathing techniques if that’s your jam), letting your team know your preferences helps them support you when the time comes.
Delivery Preferences Positions for labor, your thoughts on episiotomies, or using a birthing tub—this is where you express what feels most comfortable to you. Don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out yet; sometimes preferences change in the moment, and that’s okay.
Newborn Care What happens after your baby’s big debut? Think about whether you want immediate skin-to-skin contact, delayed cord clamping, or other newborn procedures like vitamin K shots and eye ointment.

However, these preferences can also be predetermined by your wishes. For example, if you get an epidural, you’ll be delivering on your back. So if you envision a birth on all fours, consider mentally preparing for a non-medicated birth. Our Poppylist parents love this hypnobirthing book.

Newborn Procedures

Hospitals and birthing centers typically perform several procedures on newborns, and it's helpful to include your preferences in your birth plan. Consider including details on:

Baby’s first medications, like the Vitamin K injection, Hepatitis B vaccine, or Erythromycin eye ointment
When you'd like baby’s first bath (immediately or delayed)
Screening tests such as the PKU test
Your feeding preferences: breastfeeding, formula, donor milk, or a combination
Circumcision plans (if applicable)
Where your baby will sleep—whether in your recovery room or in the nursery

You may also want to include your baby’s pediatrician information (name, clinic, and contact details), whether you plan to bank the cord blood, and if you'll be keeping the placenta.

Preparing for the Unexpected: NICU Plans

While most parents hope for a smooth delivery with the baby staying by their side, sometimes unexpected circumstances arise, and your baby may need to go to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). It’s important to have a plan in place for this possibility to avoid additional stress and confusion.

Discuss with your partner who will stay with you and who will go with the baby if this situation occurs. Deciding ahead of time ensures you both feel supported and on the same page, even in a difficult moment.

For example, I had a friend whose baby was sent to the NICU, and her husband left to be with the baby without them discussing it beforehand. She felt completely abandoned, which caused strain in their relationship, especially during that already vulnerable time. They struggled with this for the first year after their baby was born.

To prevent something like this, sit down with your partner and consider:

Who will go with the baby to the NICU?
Will one of you stay with the baby while the other stays with the birth parent, or will you alternate?
How will you both stay connected during this time?

By having this conversation ahead of time, you can ensure that both of you feel secure in your roles and supported, no matter what happens. This kind of preparation can make a world of difference during an emotionally charged moment.

A Birth Plan That’s Really a Birth Guide

At Poppylist, we believe birth plans are less about setting strict rules and more about giving you the confidence to navigate your unique journey. Having an idea of what matters most to you helps your care team stay aligned with your preferences, but flexibility is key. Birth can be unpredictable, but your choices should always be respected.

So, grab a cup of tea, sit down with your support team, and start mapping out what your ideal birth looks like. Then, let go and trust yourself—you’ve got this, and we’re here to support you every step of the way.